Date Archives January 2015

Punishments: Making Rules Real

First time experiences are always remarkable.  People think of their first sleepover, first puppy, first crush, first kiss, first time driving their car, first beer. The list goes on.  Issuing punishment certainly falls in this category.  I think less of it now, but I do recall the very first time. Paul was nearly 3. We had just learned about using rules versus negotiating with our boys.  And he had hurled a heavy toy against the wall with gusto.  Big laugh, and the prospect of a repeat performance. So here we… Read More

Teaching the Amazing Power of Rules

Before we left Boston, we had the good luck to take a community class on discipline.  It was a priceless hour as it simplified how we interacted with our two boys.  And I would say the entire family has also greatly benefited. The instructors shared three messages.  People like rules as it simplifies life, removing unnecessary decision making. Most parents opt for negotiating, generally confusing matters due to the inconsistent actions for the same situation on different days. Kids generally out-negotiate their parents, and by a country mile. As example… Read More

Polishing Diamonds – My Parenting Observations

Back in 2010, I explained to the boys that diamonds start as pretty unremarkable rocks, and only after an enormous amount of hard work, emerge as, well, diamonds.  The intent was to let them know that when they are pushed to do better, it is the act of polishing that’s underway.  They may not like the parenting they receive, but they should love the outcomes. But what makes parenting so interesting is that it’s a great example of building and fixing the plane while its flying.  On many occasions I… Read More