Posts in Polishing Diamonds

Paul’s Views of A Marriage

Mom and Dad had been at my place for a total of 40 days during my lymphoma treatment, which provided a peerless opportunity for Paul at 14 to spend time with them. Daily walks around the neighborhood. Meals. Conversations sitting around the back porch. Errands to the grocery store. Everyday tasks can be the best. All these made for a deeper view of them than he had had in prior 1 week visits to Murphysboro where mom and dad reside; Paul’s setting did not change, and his sensibilities stayed deeply… Read More

Polishing Diamonds – Daily Prayers

For the past 10 years, I have led our two boys in prayers at the end of their days, every Sun – Thur. Fri and Sat are a bit scattershot due to various whimsical distractions that will keep us up. The boys are now 11 and 13 and it is deeply ingrained into their bedtime routine. Celebrating Another Priceless Day © 2013, Abe Pachikara (Click for larger image) When it began it was a whimsical, wild and wooly adventure – Sidd was just under two years old, and thrilled in… Read More

Punishments: Making Rules Real

First time experiences are always remarkable.  People think of their first sleepover, first puppy, first crush, first kiss, first time driving their car, first beer. The list goes on.  Issuing punishment certainly falls in this category.  I think less of it now, but I do recall the very first time. Paul was nearly 3. We had just learned about using rules versus negotiating with our boys.  And he had hurled a heavy toy against the wall with gusto.  Big laugh, and the prospect of a repeat performance. So here we… Read More

Teaching the Amazing Power of Rules

Before we left Boston, we had the good luck to take a community class on discipline.  It was a priceless hour as it simplified how we interacted with our two boys.  And I would say the entire family has also greatly benefited. The instructors shared three messages.  People like rules as it simplifies life, removing unnecessary decision making. Most parents opt for negotiating, generally confusing matters due to the inconsistent actions for the same situation on different days. Kids generally out-negotiate their parents, and by a country mile. As example… Read More

Polishing Diamonds – My Parenting Observations

Back in 2010, I explained to the boys that diamonds start as pretty unremarkable rocks, and only after an enormous amount of hard work, emerge as, well, diamonds.  The intent was to let them know that when they are pushed to do better, it is the act of polishing that’s underway.  They may not like the parenting they receive, but they should love the outcomes. But what makes parenting so interesting is that it’s a great example of building and fixing the plane while its flying.  On many occasions I… Read More